Damn You Right Brain

Tonight I resorted to taking a career aptitude test. I thought that maybe the five minute quiz would illuminate the path that I've failed to find for the past ten years. Needless to say, the results were echoes of what I already know and I should begin a career as one of the following: a writer, an anthropologist, an artist, a college professor or a social worker. So- yeah, all of these paths are extremely realistic and very lucrative. I sometimes want to stab my right brain in the hopes that the left side will start to carry some of the weight in my life. I've always felt that I have the heart of an artist- ask my husband and he'll tell you that I'm happiest when I'm surrounded by hot glue and artificial flowers and covered in paint. I love to be creative- and there was a time when all I ever wanted to do was to write- what? I have no idea- but I just love words. I love reading and sometimes words touch me so much that I will read them aloud to hear their impact in a silent room. I love telling stories. I have traveled through my memories to try and understand why I have this attachment to a career and a life that I have never pursued. I've also tried to sort through why it is that I never tried to do the things that have always resonated in my heart. I'm left with more questions than answers- and an incredible sense that I have wasted time- which terrifies me. I've decided that I need to shake the rust of my writing skills and at least try- even my efforts never go farther than the bottomless pit of cyberspace. I was complaining about how unrealistic all of my career aspirations were earlier and my best friend, my very wise best friend, said something that motivated me. Being her ever positive self, she said, "Well, maybe it's time to start doing something unrealistic." So- here we go.